STI: Mum's all 4 kids

Jan 18, 2004
Mum's all  4 kids
by Tee Hun Ching

WHEN IBM named two women to top spots in the company last month, something else about these high-flyers caught Singaporeans' attention. 'People were more surprised that we have four children each,' says Ms Patricia Yim, 40, who succeeded Ms Janet Ang, 43, as IBM Singapore's managing director.

Working mothers - especially high-powered ones - with a large brood are a rare breed in Singapore, which is set to see its lowest birth rate in 26 years.

Family sizes have been shrinking over the years. In 2000, married women aged 15 and over had 2.5 children on average, compared with 2.8 children in 1990.

Better educated women also tended to have fewer children. Married graduate females had 1.3 children on average in 2000, compared to 3.3 for those with below secondary qualifications.

Homegrown examples of successful career Mums with more than three children include Member of Parliament Halimah Yacob, a mother of five, as well as Dr Ivy Ng, chairman of KK Women's and Children's Hospital's medical board and wife of Acting Manpower Minister Ng Eng Hen, and Singapore Tenpin Bowling Congress president Jessie Phua, who have four children each.

Having a support structure to fall back on - both at home and at work - is a big help, says IBM's Ms Ang.

'To do well in IBM, you just have to do well. Gender is not an issue,' she says, adding that 42 per cent of managers at IBM Singapore are women. She recalls telling her boss in 1989: 'Don't promote me, I'm getting married.'

'He laughed and said 'it's not true that you have to give up your career when you get married'.'

Er, boss, I'm pregnant...again

AT SEVEN, Karyn Chan already knows what 'teleconferencing' and 'travelling' mean. Both words take her mother away from her.

'When I get home, she will ask me, 'Mummy, do you have telecon tonight?' ' says Ms Patricia Yim, 40, IBM Singapore's managing director.

Karyn's three siblings - Mitchell, five; Mathias, three and one-year-old Kristyn - are also learning fast.

Their mother leaves for work at 7.30am and doesn't get back to their terrace house off Stevens Road till 12 hours later. Their father, Mr Gabriel Chan, 38, a director of an IT company, has an equally hectic schedule.

So before the children are tucked into bed at 9.30pm, they have two precious hours with their parents. 'They have to ration the time with us,' says Ms Yim, 'because we can't increase our time.'

To steal more time together, the couple sometimes share a quick cuppa at the airport before flying off separately on business trips.

But they have laid some ground rules to ensure that the kids don't play second fiddle to their work. They avoid travelling for business on weekends and chuck all worries about work when they get home.

Once the kids are in bed, 'my second shift starts', Ms Yim says. She clears her e-mail or makes teleconference calls before turning in at about 11pm.

Weekends, however, are reserved for the family of Catholics.

Ms Yim says she has never missed any of her children's birthdays or key parent-teacher meetings.

Thanks to her two maids and in-laws who live nearby, she can focus on her job during the day while they help her babysit.

'Even if a child is sick, I will maybe just make a call back in between my meetings. I have to trust that my caretakers have everything under control.'

But the lines do blur. She recalls having to field a conference call at night to the United States while tending to Mitchell, who was delirious with fever. Her husband was out of town then.

With a new addition to the family every two years, her friends have come to tease her about her 'biennial sabbatical'.

But IBM has a pro-worklife stance. It won The Family Friendly Firm Award in 2000 for pro-family efforts, such as giving employees up to three years of no-pay leave to study, look after their baby, or accompany a working spouse overseas.

'Initially, I was concerned whether the time away would affect my ability to deliver results. But after the second child, I was able to find the balance,' she says.

'Being a mother has made me more patient. With children, you learn quickly that things can't be done in an instant.'

If given a choice, she would re-tread the same path. 'I don't think I would be anywhere different in my professional path if I had no or fewer children.'

Mr Mum shares her load

LIKE most career Mums, Ms Janet Ang has a mother-in-law to thank for helping her juggle work and family.

But unlike most of her peers, she has another able assistant - a stay-at-home husband.

Mr Anthony Cheah, 47, gave up his real-estate consultant job in 1998 when Ms Ang was named director of marketing, global small and medium business for IBM Asia Pacific.

Together with their three daughters - Joanne, now 12; Maryanne, nine; and Lilyanne, seven - they moved to Tokyo for a three-year stint.

Their youngest girl, three-year-old Sarahanne, was 'made in Japan', as Mr Cheah likes to joke.

The family returned to Singapore in 2001 when Ms Ang was appointed IBM Singapore's managing director. In January this year, she became its vice-president of personal systems for Greater China. The family is now based in Beijing.

Deciding if he could cut it as a Mr Mum was not easy, says Mr Cheah, who has a degree in estate management.

'I had to think about whether my ego could take it. And it actually took a while to settle in. Even now, when we meet people for the first time, they expect me to have a name card that says investment manager or something,' he says cheerfully.

Ms Ang, 43, chips in: 'I'm blessed. I have a 'home executive' who's also a great cook.'

To which Mr Cheah replies with a laugh: 'I also feel very blessed that I don't have to work so hard.'

He takes care of the household chores in Beijing, where his biggest challenge is having to bargain when shopping. 'I feel guilty if I bargain as things are relatively cheap, but feel cheated if I don't since I know others are paying less.'

Ms Ang's expert juggling skills were evident even during their courtship days. They met when she was giving private tuition to his younger siblings.

She joined IBM in 1982 as a systems engineer after obtaining an honours degree in business administration from NUS. She would leave the office at 6.30pm, wait for him to pick her up, then go to bed at 10pm.

But by five the next morning, she would be at work, making up for lost time.

'Luckily he proposed quite fast,' she says, chortling.

The jovial couple, who are Catholics, married in 1989 after a one-year courtship.

Thanks to technology and IBM Singapore's mobility programme launched in 1996, many working mothers in the company have managed to pull off the balancing act, Ms Ang says.

The scheme gives all sales and marketing staff, who make up about 60 per cent of the IBM workforce here, the flexibility to choose when and where to work.

The girls can count on her for help with their schoolwork and to be around for key events in their lives, such as school concerts to Primary 1 registration. But she says with mock sorrow: 'The girls adore Anthony. I'm so jealous.'

He had forged strong bonds with the girls during their stay in Japan, where he was one of only two fathers who hung around the school waiting for their children.

Still, she says, there were days when 'his hair started standing on end' during their stay in Tokyo. 'That's when I had to give him a day off to just go tour the gardens or get a haircut. Then he would come back recharged.'

He also has to remind her to relax after she sheds her power suits.

'After a trip to the zoo, she would ask the girls: 'What did you learn today?' And I would be like: 'We had a great time, right?' ' he says with a laugh.

'We always tell her: 'Don't run the household like IBM.'

Double double

YEARS ago, Dr Chiew Ing Hai thought of having 'two, maybe up to three' children after marriage.

But the 41-year-old general practitioner now has two boys and two girls running around their terrace house in Upper Bukit Timah.

'It's God's gift,' says the Christian of her children - Joel, 13; Joanne, 12; Jean, 10; and John, eight.

Some people, however, don't share her view. Her husband, Dr Kenneth Chiew, 42, who is also a GP, says: 'The older folks will say very good. But the young ones will open their eyes wide. They can't imagine their own two children being multiplied by another two.'

He set up Chiew Clinic in Kovan Road in 1990, and his wife joined him five years later.

She was with a group practice previously, and used to work from 9am to 5pm.

She now works half-days Mondays to Saturdays, from 9am to 1pm, to help with homework when the kids get back from school.

Still, there were times when she wished for a clone.

Halfway through seeing a patient one day last year, she got a call from Jean saying that her father-in-law had forgotten to pick her up from her music class.

Soon after that, Joel called from school complaining of abdominal cramps. So she had to leave early and ferry them home.

'Luckily, the boss was very understanding,' her husband quips.

With their time spread thin, the couple have made it a point to devote personal attention to each child.

Mum takes each kid out for lunch or tea once a week, while Dad does it once a month.

She says: 'I don't think I've made more sacrifices than parents with fewer kids. If you have only two, those two will give you enough problems to stress you out as well.

'With four, you learn to look at the bigger issues.'