STI: Dinner's a family fare

Apr 19, 2004

Dinner's a family fare
by Li Xueying

ALMOST every day, the Leongs go home to a lovingly-prepared meal that may include steamed prawns, braised kampung chicken and enoki mushroom soup.

To them, having dinner together is a sacred ritual that underlines and strengthens their commitment to one another.

At least five days a week, they sit down to dinner at 7.30pm in their four-room flat in Queens Close.

This, despite the fact that all four are working adults. Madam Ching Yeen Ken, 51, is an administrative clerk; her husband Leong Yew Meng, 54, is a welder.

Only a recent posting to Los Angeles has kept their older daughter, Mei Yin, 29, a sales manager in private banking, from joining them.

Their other daughter, Tze Wei, 25, an executive officer with a statutory board, said: 'We've been doing this since we were young.

'When we were small, mum would say, 'we cannot start eating until daddy is here'.'

Most eat at home

INDEED, the family dinner is still alive and well, going by a recent Sunday Times survey, the results of which debunk the notion that families here are too busy to eat together.

Singapore Press Holdings' research arm polled a representative sample of 411 Singaporeans about their eating habits. It found that the vast majority (80 per cent) dine at home, especially on weekdays. At weekends, it drops to about 65 per cent. Most people don't lack company at dinner. Though 21 per cent eat dinner alone on weekdays, that is halved to 10 per cent on weekends. Eating together symbolises that the family members feel a responsibility towards each other, said Madam Ching.

Tze Wei, who limits dinners outside to twice a week, said: 'My friends laugh at me, 'you're already 20-something and working. Why must you go home for dinner so often?'

'But I feel we're so wrapped up in our own activities at other times that it's important to reserve dinner time for the family.'

That sentiment is shared by Minister of State Chan Soo Sen, (Education, and Community Development and Sports), who chairs the Family Matters! committee.

'In the past, the family was both a social and economic unit. For instance, everyone worked at the family shop together,' he said.

'But today, everyone works in different places. Dinner becomes even more important as it's the one time that brings the family together.'

Food prepared by family members

THE survey found that many family members are very involved in preparing the family meal and in washing up, although in many homes, all this is the job of the maid.

Madam Ching's priorities are clear. Used to cooking hot dinners for her family, she avoids evenings out with friends and colleagues, meeting them instead for lunch at weekends.

'I don't see it as a sacrifice. It's for the benefit of the family,' she said.

Her efforts aren't taken for granted. 'She's quite a super mum,' said her daughter Tze Wei, who helps prepare the meal and wash up.

Mother and daughter share their day's news while chopping up the celery or mincing the garlic for the meal ahead.

Most say dinner with family is important

A TOTAL of 55 per cent responded that having dinner as a family was 'very important', while another 34 per cent said it was 'somewhat important'.

Said Mr Leong: 'Through dinners, we teach the next generation our values and to follow in our footsteps.'

Indeed, the National Centre on Addiction and Substance Abuse at New York's Columbia University said that, since 1996, research has consistently shown that the more often a child eats dinner with his family, the less likely he is to smoke, drink or use illegal drugs.

Never ones to touch drugs or cigarettes are Mr Eugene Seetoh, 30, an administrative executive, and his brother, Lawrence, 28, an engineer.

They have dinner at home with their parents almost daily. 'As we share our food, we also share our opinions and learn from one another,' said Mr Eugene Seetoh.

Family tensions and quarrels are also more easily resolved over a dinner at home prepared with love, said both the Seetohs and the Leongs.

Said Mr Leong: 'Sometimes we may be angry, but we eat at home, so we cannot escape by going out. And after a nice meal made by my wife, my mood is very good!'